The Father's Reply: Healing

The past couple weeks have been turbulent and heartbreaking. Like getting a wound that is still quite raw scratched at with a cheese grater, sprinkled on with salt, and doused with isopropyl.

My breathing has remained heavy and labored. My eyes have still been subject to random crying spells. And my sleeping, waking up, and eating patterns have gotten all but wonky.

It's not easy with God so silent, the enemy so powerful and eager to pounce, and hope feeling like a pipe dream. I broke down Tuesday . . . or Wednesday or Thursday. I'm not really sure when exactly. Time doesn't really make sense when your days all seem blurred together like congealed pasta noodles.

All the while, I'd been a weak and willing slave to my thoughts and fears, the enemy's all-time favorite destruction fodder.

He'll find someone new, and all that talk of loving you always? Pfffftttt! Please!

Well, now that you lost the love of your life, what's the point in anything anymore?

Oh, what God wants for you, the desires He wants you to have, they're never gonna be enough!

You can pray all you want, but if your requests aren't "holy" enough, you can forget about God hearing you out.


I knew that they weren't from/of God. They made me second-guess God's sovereignty and character. But I took the bait and let myself be ambushed by them. The consequence? I became stuck and obstinate and saw God as harsh, distant, and depriving.

Even after necessary reminders from my D group leader, I doubted and thought the same things.

Even after God preserved my life and my family's home, along with everyone else's, during the Thursday evening fire, I doubted and thought the same things.

But at 12:52 a.m. (much) earlier today, God answered and reassured me.

I knew that the healing that God promised here was not just for him but also for me and everyone else who is grieving and/or losing hope.

I admit that some dregs of bitterness and discouragement still linger; but now I have hope that persevering today, whatever the eventual outcome, won't be a fruitless endeavor. That someday, I can breathe easily and deeply and experience the fullness of God's joy. And that God will give him (and everyone else who need Him) true healing and the same fruits of perseverance. Because my God, his God, and everyone else's God, is the same loving and merciful God.


Stay golden, hupomone, and God bless you!