I am an anxious flyer. Scratch that. I am an anxious person, period.
Yesterday, my mom and I had to get to the airport and catch our 7:40 a.m. flight (which means that I pretty much ran on two hours' worth of sleep). Again, we find ourselves coming home to the humble little town of Bayabas; but unlike a little over a month ago, we're doing so under more celebratory, albeit moderately stressful, circumstances. The parents are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary - praise God!
Anyway, after having gone through all the standard procedures, Mama and I still had enough time to break the fast (a smidge earlier than I've been used to the past few months; but hey, I see food, I eat). And break the fast we did - speedily and heartily to compensate for the lack of sleep. Then we went ahead to our gate to wait for boarding, which was less than thirty minutes afterward.
Yesterday's flying experience was a bit different than my typical - the difference primarily being in the size of the plane. We had the opportunity of riding something other than the usual Airbus. The four-column, twenty-row craft was something else; and paired with a slightly rainy clime, the trip kept me . . . er . . . on the edge of my seat.
I felt everything and on a considerably greater degree, it seemed. Every bump on the pavement as the plane taxied, every tilt as it soared higher. It was all quite unnerving. So much so that as I was praying, I immediately cut to "Father, please give my mother peace of mind on this trip . . . and me as well."
It took some work to stay focused on God and just surrender all my worries to Him in prayer, all the while suffering through thoughts of Final Destination and various other scenarios that involved my having to use the life vest. But by God's grace, I managed to keep up my convoluted conversation with Him.
However, the best part came shortly after. As we hit cruising altitude, I saw the break in the cloud cover, a glimpse of the the blue expanse, and the rays of unfiltered sunshine. I knew it was God answering me, as if saying, "See? You have nothing to worry about. I'm right here." Then my ridiculously dorky smile slowly materialized and planted itself on my face.
I was having too much fun, feeling amused at how things were unfolding. But of course, it couldn't last long as the plane had to land so that we could get to our destination.
The descent was just as bad as, if not worse than, the ascent; and again, I clung onto God in fervent prayer. Then as if on cue, God spoke to me via parallels and an epiphany.
The entirety of the flight reminded me of the before, during, and after of spiritual highs. Like in the ascent, I'm often wrestling with God and straining against the work that He's doing; but little by little, He gets me to a place wherein both our wills and perspectives align. Once in that place, in the stratosphere of my experience with Him, I get to rejoice in Him and just bask and soak in His light fully. After a while, He allows me to slowly go back down or go through some turbulence, a period of testing if you will, to prepare me for when I have to eventually face the realities of the world again.
It's scary. It's exhilarating. It's frustrating. But one thing is certain: we have a God who is more than able and more than delighted to bring us through it all (Dan. 3:17)!
Stay golden, hupomone, and God bless you!
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