Floating Backward

Earlier today via my Desiring God devo (though it was not apparent to me then), I was reminded of the importance to fix my eyes on Jesus.

It is common knowledge among Christians that living the surrendered life is not difficult but impossible. It takes daily refocusing and rededicating of our lives to the One we're surrendering to. But as Christians are also very much familiar with, life here on earth is very unpredictable and overwhelming; and more frequently than not, it is very easy to get unknowingly dragged away by the riptide that is our circumstances.

Tonight, as I skimmed over old sites and sifted through precious memories, I was reminded and felt dregs of the all too familiar searing pain from months ago. It came from almost out of nowhere, but I recognized the feeling; and by God's grace, I was able to acknowledge my vulnerability from possible blows from the enemy. (In fact, right now, I'm still on guard.)

Now, my devo and even the strange, wonderful joy and freedom I've felt since my volunteering stint last October 21, are starting to make sense. I needed them to be prepared for such a time as this (Est. 4:14) - a time of looking back and floating backward - as there may be more in the future.

I don't blame God for the pain; it's merely a consequence of my choice to love a dear man followed by my choice to obey Him. I don't know what the eventual outcome will be - a reunion, a new prospect, or a life of singleness - but it doesn't really matter because I know that I already have (and always will have) God's best, which is Himself.

At this point, I can only be grateful to my God, my Father, for being so intentional and involved in my life. I can only praise and thank Him for who He is and for the great relief at the realization that He has slowly been changing my heart, that my hope is no longer in this world and in what He can promise but in Himself.

So let's keep pressing on and stay focused on Jesus; and one day, we can all say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim. 4:7, NIV).


Stay golden, hupomone, and God bless you!