***This is not to demean one of my favorite protagonists or
the brilliant mind behind her and the film (the masterpiece known as La La Land). Rather, this is about how I
do identify with her . . . and how I don’t. Not really. Not anymore.
I was Mia Dolan
I had my head in the clouds
My hope in a change of circumstances
My heart set on worldly success and love
I was Mia Dolan
I made compromises in my ideals
When I found the world to be less
Than my wants, goals, and expectations
I was Mia Dolan
I was led by my heart, not much else
I made decisions on a feeling, on a whim
Blatantly disregarding the repercussions
I don’t wanna be Mia Dolan anymore
I don’t wanna go where my heart leads
That weak, deceitful little thing
From where my selfishness and vanity stem
I don’t wanna be Mia Dolan
Whose world is all that she knows
Whose discontent keeps her searching
For something (Someone) in the wrong places
I don’t wanna be Mia Dolan
Who falls apart when things go wrong
Who left, promising “forever” love
But returned with proof of the contrary
I don’t wanna be Mia Dolan
Who settled when her circumstances changed
Who ultimately gained what she thought she wanted
But was saddled with an alternate ending
I don’t have to be Mia Dolan
She thought security was found in the world
She knew not of the promise from ages ago
The promise of a hope and a future
I don’t have to be Mia Dolan
She had to be burdened with so much
From this world’s standards to a weary heart
From an unfilled void to the harshness of reality
I don’t have to be Mia Dolan
Because I know Him and I’ve experienced His love
Because I know surrendering to Him means freedom
Because I know that in Him, I won’t lack anything
I don’t have to be Mia Dolan
Because I know that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made
Because I know that He has plans for me
Because I know that the same is true for the people I love
I don’t have to be Mia Dolan
I know that my love is a gift from the Giver
Not just another protagonist or some random plot device
And I know that this love will stay because I know Him
I was, don’t wanna be, and am no longer
Ms. Mia Dolan, fool and dreamer
I have been and always will be His
My
being rests in the great I AM
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