“I was convicted recently . . .” You might have heard this phrase
thrown around by your friends at church whenever they share their updates for
the week. You might have also read about it loosely somewhere, perhaps in a
journal or an online article (wink, wink; nudge, nudge). Thanks to context
clues, you may have a vague idea of what it is. But of course, it couldn’t hurt
to try to understand it even more.
If you browse on the interwebs, you
may encounter several different definitions. In the interest of maintaining
consistency, we’ll be sticking to the top search results and go-to dictionaries.
Also, we’ll be keeping to definitions of the word convict as a (transitive or intransitive) verb.
- Good ol’ Uncle Google and the ever extensive Oxford Dictionaries both say that to convict is to “declare [someone] to be guilty of a criminal offence by the verdict of a jury or the decision of a judge in a court of law.”
- The posh yet also decidedly slanguage-inclusive Cambridge Dictionary claims that convict means “to decide officially in a court of law that someone is guilty of a particular crime.”
- Sassy Auntie Merriam-Webster (my favorite) takes convict as “to find or prove to be guilty” or “to convince of error or sinfulness.”
Given those definitions, we can
gather a few key elements: judgment (declare, decide, find, prove, convince);
guilt; and offence. Of course, that “jury” or “court of law” for the purpose of
this article is of a much higher sense—God’s. Perhaps at this point, you feel
like you’ve become better acquainted with Christian jargon. Going back . . .
Let’s take things on a more
everyday application–type of field. Have you ever had one of those days when “the
universe”—God—seems to be trying to grab your attention, to tell you something?
That day could look like any other
given day . . . except it’s not. On this particular time, you could be going
through a certain season in your life, say, you’ve been complaining about and feeling
very unmotivated toward work; and the first thing you see when you grab your
phone is a little something like this:
Verse of the day: “As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me...” (John 9:4, NIV)
(Dang it, Bible app!)
But it doesn’t end there. You walk
down to your kitchen/dining area, check the newspaper, and see the day’s
headline in attention-commanding block letters: Employment at a Downturn! You’re starting to get weirded out. Then
as you scroll through your Facebook feed, you chance upon an acquaintance’s
status update that may or may not read as “Got laid off at work today. [sad
face emoji]” or maybe even “Finally done with that 48-hour shift! Now I can
sleeeep! [relaxed face emoji]” Just when you think you’ve dodged those seemingly
well-crafted bullets, you step out of your home and see a door-to-door salesman
who remains chipper and manages to greet you a cheerful “Good morning!” despite
the many rejections still so early on in the day.
It’s like you are being constantly
dogged by something, and that something could be just that number one thing
you’ve been avoiding to address as of late. You are not at ease. You are
annoyed and bothered, not just by how your day’s gone so far but also by the
fact that you are annoyed and bothered. You take a few moments, and things are
starting to sink in.
You acknowledge that there is something wrong. As you reflect on
your week so far and after the events of the morning, as you re-examine your
heart and mind, perhaps you find that
you’ve been focusing too much on how your job isn’t giving you the fulfilment
and satisfaction that you crave. Perhaps you discover that you’ve been so tired lately because at some point,
you’ve forgotten to make time for rest (Heb. 4:10, Exod. 34:21).
After identifying and becoming convinced in the aspect where you’ve erred,
guilt starts to seep in. You
experience that sudden intake of breath when you realize that you’re at fault, that you’re not blameless; then
you feel ashamed and embarrassed for all the complaining and grumbling. But
before that feeling consumes you, before you sink further, here’s a little line
to keep you afloat: go back to God and repent,
and believe that God has already forgiven you (even though it doesn’t feel like
it) and will continue to work on changing your heart.
“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.” (Rev. 3:19, NIV)
I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. (Luke 15:7, NIV)
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