I always thought that being in the season of pain is a lot like being in the wilderness or in the desert. Like I'm smack-dab in the middle of nowhere and going nowhere.
But nope. It took me being in (or in my case, exiling myself into) the wilderness to find out that it's not just an endless unpaved marsh with nothing but darkness or a never-ending stretch of sand with no shade from the excruciating heat.
When you find yourself in the wilderness, you will have days when it feels like there's no hope for an end to the struggle; and then you will have days when you see a break in the trees and a beautiful little meadow at the end, or an oasis with a little spring of cool water. Then you find yourself back where you came from, and you wonder whether or not you've been walking around in circles all this time.
A friend told me that this season, this process is "harsh and repetitive"; and she's right. I've lost count weeks ago how many times I've questioned God why all this pain was necessary. I've lost count how many times I had to be reminded of the whys. I've lost count how many times I've asked myself, "Was it worth it? Is this all worth it?"
The only thing that's been keeping me going (barely) is yet another question: If not for Him, where will I go?
How about you? Where will you go?
0 Comments